


A Little Healthy Competition

by narikalen



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-04-03
Updated: 2007-04-03
Packaged: 2017-10-17 08:31:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 791
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/174895
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/narikalen/pseuds/narikalen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A little bit of competition never hurt anyone... much.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Little Healthy Competition

_Scene: TARDIS, wardrobe. Jack is standing on the winding staircase by the wardrobe. The Doctor is standing on the landing, next to the closet/change room. Martha is one floor under, in the main hub area. Jack paces._

JACK: Tell me why we’re doing this again?

MARTHA: Because sometimes, it’s nice to fit in. And you’ll fit right in, wearing those.

JACK: Doc?

DOCTOR: She’s right, you know. Besides, it’s fun to have a change of pace sometimes.

JACK: But Doc! This? Isn’t this a little too much? I mean, I’m a man of the 51st Century, and even I think that this might be a bit… overdone. And why does _she_ get to wear pants?

DOCTOR: Well, I suppose –

MARTHA: Oh, stop it. You’re just jealous because the Doctor will look better in a dress than you.

JACK: _What_? I’ll have you know that Captain Jack Harkness looks good in anything. Look better without, but I can look good in anything.

MARTHA: Yeah? Prove it. Put on the black one; the Doctor can wear the white one. White suits him.

DOCTOR: Thanks!

 _Doctor enters change room._

JACK: Hey! White suits me too! Everything suits me. Especially white.

MARTHA: Jack, are you stalling for time?

JACK: Stall? Me? Of course not. I’m just saying, I’d look good in –

MARTHA: Go. Put. On. The. Dress.

JACK: God. You sound like your mother.

MARTHA: NOW.

 _Jack opens the change room doors. Muffled thumps are heard as the Doctor throws his trousers into Jack’s face._

JACK: What, you don’t want the company?

DOCTOR: No cheating. I’ll show you all in good time.

JACK: Spoilsport.

 _Jack enters a separate change room._

MARTHA: Quit whining and change. And Doctor, add these to your outfit; they complete the look.

 _She knocks on change room door, which opens. The Doctor’s hand emerges, and Martha hands him a white small bundle._

DOCTOR: Thanks! Needed those.

MARTHA: And these for you.

 _Martha opens the door, and throws in a similar black bundle._

JACK: Hey, watch it! I can’t die, and I can’t regenerate certain precious bits.

MARTHA: Just put them on. Are you decent yet?

JACK: Am I ever?

DOCTOR: That’s right. I’ve been waiting ages now; are you ready?

JACK: Yeah, yeah, coming. And not in a good way either.

 _Jack’s door opens, to reveal him wearing a rather ill-fitting long black dress. The spaghetti straps emphasizes his broad frame. The dress is unable to hug the non-existent curves in the hard lines of his body, and the cloth is bunched in strange patterns across his torso. The sheer black shawl wrapped around his arms gives him a slightly matronly air, and the heels he’s wearing adds to his square-shaped frame. He takes a tentative step, enhancing his swagger further. Another step, and he promptly sprawls across the floor. Martha suppresses her mirth._

MARTHA: You look like a drag queen. And a very bad one at that.

JACK: I’d like to see you try to walk in these stilettos!

MARTHA: I have. Ran across icy winter streets in them, in fact. Never had much trouble with them.

 _Jack struggles to get up, and falls again. He settles for sitting on the floor, muttering darkly to himself._

MARTHA: Doctor? He’s out; your turn.

DOCTOR: Right-o! Oh. That was terrible. Never let me say that again.

 _The Doctor emerges, dressed in a white fitted slip. The slip accentuates his slender figure, and ends high mid-thigh, showing off a set of smooth, long legs, ending in stiletto sandals with white straps wrapped up his calves. The white feather boa wrapped around his neck trails to the floor behind him, giving him a glamorous flair. He gracefully sashays his way towards Martha and Jack, who are both staring with mouths agape._

MARTHA: You look amazing.

JACK: Fantastic even. I concede defeat and salute you. And how are you walking in those heels?

 _The Doctor looks pleased. He glances at Martha, then at the rather obvious bulge Jack’s dress is incapable of hiding._

MARTHA: Jack, I don’t think he requires that type of salute. And I’m fairly certain that dress is not made to accommodate it either.

JACK: Well, if he didn’t look so hot in that damn dress…

DOCTOR: Hey, what’s a little bit of razzledazzle between friends?

 _The Doctor grins at his companions, hauls Jack to his feet and manages to get them to the TARDIS doors. Throwing it open, he pushes Jack outside, then firmly shuts the door behind him._

JACK: Hey, Doc? I don’t think this is the right place… ah shit. I am so fucked. And not in a good way.

 _He looks at the crowd of people quickly surrounding Trafalgar Square around him…_

JACK: Damn 21st Century humans.

**Author's Note:**

> prompt: razzledazzle


End file.
